You can keep fighting to be understood.
Or you can have the marriage you actually want.
If couples therapy has failed you before, it was probably trying to be “fair.”
I don't work that way.
If you've tried couples counseling before and left feeling like nothing really changed, it may not have been the wrong therapist — it may have been the wrong approach. A lot of therapy is built to stay balanced: validate both partners equally, take no position, keep things safe. For many couples, that's exactly what keeps them stuck.
I work differently. The approach is called Relational Life Therapy — developed by Terry Real — and it's built on a simple, uncomfortable truth: there's no objective reality in an intimate relationship, and trying to prove who's right is what keeps couples circling the same fight.
So I won't stay neutral. I'll help you see the patterns you've both stopped being able to see, and I'll be honest about what each of you is doing to keep the fight alive — not to assign blame, but to get you somewhere a more cautious approach couldn't.
Most couples therapy stays neutral.
That's often why it doesn't work.
Picture this working.
What would that give you?
Sit with that for a second — it's one of the first questions I'll ask you anyway.
Most people are surprised by their own answer. It's rarely "winning the argument." It's wanting to feel like a team again. To stop bracing for the next fight. To be genuinely known by the person you live with — and to actually like each other, not just stay together.
That's the work. Not keeping score, not deciding who's right, but rebuilding the thing that made you choose each other in the first place — with honesty, and with both of you finally on the same side.
It's possible more often than people think. Even now. Even after everything.
Real tools, not insight for its own sake. You'll leave with specific ways to interrupt the fight before it spirals — so you both know what to do differently the next time it starts, instead of replaying the same argument for the hundredth time.
Your kids stay out of the middle. When a marriage is struggling, children feel it. Part of this work is protecting their sense of safety — making sure they feel heard without being made to carry what belongs to the two of you.
I'm reachable when it actually matters. Conflict doesn't wait for your next appointment. I'm available between sessions by phone or text, so when something flares up, we can address it in the moment — while it's live, not a week later when the heat is gone.
You don't need another therapist who explains your dynamic back to you.
You just need it to change.
The work is direct, practical, and built to hold up at home — not just in my office.
Walking with you through loss
Alongside my work with couples, I'm a certified grief educator. Loss doesn't follow a schedule or a set of stages — and you don't have to navigate it alone, or "get over it" on anyone else's timeline. [Learn more about how I work with grief →]
What I Believe
A look into my beliefs about family transitions and a glimpse of my own family story.
Ready to do this differently?
If you've read this far, something here landed. Maybe you're the one who's been carrying this, wishing your partner would read it too. Maybe you're not sure they're on board yet. That's okay — most couples don't start out equally ready.
Reach out and we'll talk: where things actually are, and whether this is the right fit. A real conversation, not a commitment.